How to keep your relationship healthy? – In this post I shall briefly discuss what I think is important in having and maintaining a healthy relationship between a husband and wife. Maybe in future I’ll post more on other types of relationships and how to keep them.
Husband & wife relationship – based on a traditional Marriage, also named matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised unification between a man and women that establishes rights and obligations between these two people and in extension the families that both of these two spouses come from. Given that in society today many people don’t tie the knot and prefer to stay together outside of a marriage, this may be socially accepted but from a religious point of view is not acceptable. Whatever the case managing and maintaining a healthy relationship of this type is complex and requires allot of effort from both the people involved. Especially where this relationship also comes with additional responsibilities and ties.
Romantic relationships between spouses are very important for happiness and well-being.
So why is it important to have a healthy and happy relationship with your wife or husband and one that cultivates romance?
Because it develops Love between the two, love is one of the most intense emotions known to human and it plays a crucial role in bonding two people together. There are many kinds of love, sisterly love, motherly love etc. but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner – wife or husband. For some people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element of life, providing a source of deep fulfilment and personal growth. The ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate and most of us have to work consciously and hard to master the skills necessary to make our relationship flourish.
3 simple steps to healthy loving relationship
There are many things to consider when you are in a relationship, for example, controlling your temper, watching what you say and when, controlling your whims and fancies, forgiving each other, expressing love and so on. In this post I am just going to focus on 3 things that I feel will help improve your relationship.
Respect Each other
The most important one is ‘RESPECT’ learn to respect each other. Even if the other person is annoying or disrespectful – it does not mean you give in and behave in the same way. Show care and love without preconditions. There will be times when it is difficult to show respect, on those occasions move away calmly. When the situation improves later, then sit down and talk it over as adults.
Try not to lay blame but make it constructive chat, looking at what caused the problem and how you can both work together to resolve. Be brave and accept it, if it was your fault, then apologies. It is better to apologies and maintain a healthy, happy relationship then to create bitterness and unhappiness between the two.
Talk and talk more…the second aspect of keeping your relationship healthy is – Communication, it is key to a healthy and happy relationship. When you first get married you can spend hours and hours staying up all night talking to each other having fun. But over time this habit can drop off. To maintain a healthy relationship couples must make time to check in with one another regularly. It’s essential to talk about more than just work, parenting and maintaining the household. Try to spend a few minutes each day or at night before going to sleep discussing deeper or more personal subjects to stay connected to your partner over the long term. Find out how each of you can support each other to stay happy.
Don’t avoid bringing up difficult subjects, if you must discuss them, but be prudent as to when you discuss those painful points that you feel must be said. Learn to be tactful, it is not clever to start a difficult subject just before going to bed. You must learn to forgive and forget where possible, although it is difficult try not keep concerns or problems to yourself, it can breed resentment or increase stress in your relationship.
When discussing tough topics, be very careful, though, it pays to be kind. Research done on this suggests that communication style is more important than commitment levels, personality traits or stressful life events goes towards predicting whether happily married couples will go on to divorce. In certain situations, negative communication patterns such as anger, blame and contempt are linked to an increased likelihood of couples splitting up or suffering an unhealthy and unhappy relationship.
Having disagreements are part of any marriage or partnership, but some fighting styles are particularly damaging. Sit down with your wife or husband and talk like two friends, as couples that use destructive behaviour during arguments — such as blaming, screaming, resorting to personal criticisms, comparing with others or withdrawing from the discussion — are more likely to break up than those couples that fight constructively.
Some examples of constructive strategies for resolving disagreements include attempting to find out exactly what your partner is feeling, listening to his or her point of view and trying to make him or her laugh. One thing that works is buying gifts, so next time you have an argument or disagreement – be the first one to speak a nice word to your wife or husband – say sorry with a gift. See how that changes the situation.
Keeping it fresh & interesting
Remember the time when you first laid eyes on each other, how moving and pleasurable was that? Can you still think of that time, feel that moment and visualise what happened? – Between kids, developing careers and other outside commitments, it can be very difficult for the two of you to stay connected every time. Yet there are very good and important reasons to make the effort – not just make the effort but go out of your way to make sure that connection is nurtured and continues to develop in your relationship.
Spend time with each other praying, taking walks, joking and having fun. To keep things interesting, there are some couples who plan regular date nights, eating out etc. Relationship Experts mention breaking out of the routine in your daily chores and trying new things – why not consider healthy eating by cooking together a meal? — whether that’s going dancing, on a day trip, taking a fitness class together or an afternoon walk.
Maintaining and developing Intimacy is also a critical component of romantic relationships and goes a long way to a healthy relationship. It may not be spontaneous to have it written in ink on your dairy, but setting aside time for each other for an intimate encounter helps ensure your physical and emotional needs are met.
Happy, healthy relationships do not just happen, each and every couple who has achieved this, has done it with immense amount of collaboration and hard work between the two people. All relationships have ups and downs, but some factors are more likely than others to create bumps in a relationship.
It is observed that finances, extended family, work stress and parenting decisions often create repeated conflicts, for example. One sign of a problem is having repeated versions of the same fight over and over. In such cases, identify the main cause and work with each other to address the underlying triggers. If it’s still not working, then seek guidance from a relationship expert. Better that then to allow the situation to fester and result in break-up or misery between the two people.
- Talk and Talk more with each other
- Be intimate where and when possible with each other
- Pray together, take walks regularly.
- Spend less time away from her or him and when together laugh and enjoy the moment.
- Look out for each other’s, likes and dislikes
- If one is angry during an argument or disagreement, then walk away let them release their stresses and then resume later if it must happen.
- Learn to forgive and forget. Try never to bring up the past in an argument or lay blame.
Work on your relationship, it’s a learning curve that continues to grow. Enjoy the happy moments and accept the unhappy moments as learning objectives to developing a healthy relationship.